My heart is racing. I am a little shaky. Fumbling for my credit card. Clicking through the confirmation buttons. In my mind I am remembering all the stress, the worry, the long hours the last time I did this.
But, here I am again.
Committing to all that stress and worry and long hours AGAIN. I wasn’t even sure I was going to do this a few months ago. My path has changed over the last 10 years. My goals have changed. But, then I remember all the positives that came out of this before. I learned a lot. I reflected on my practice. I collaborated. I set goals. I grew as a professional and that growth has been enduring. It opened up my eyes to new practices. It opened up doorways to me as an educator. It affected my students (all of them over the years).
So I advance through registration. I change my number of teaching years from 4 to 13. I change my title from teacher to administrator. I update my address and the name of my school. All of that representing 10 years of change. Ten years of hard fought battles. And with each letter I type, each button I click, the enormity of it hits me. In my heart I know it needs to be done. I know the benefits. I know I have a new support system to guide me through this. I know it will be easier this time (or so I am told). I know that I know more than I did 10 years.
But, there is still so much more to learn.
I can’t wait to express that growth in writing. I can’t wait to ask myself hard questions again. I can’t wait to reflect again and assess my impact. This time as an educational leader. This time with a backpack of tools I didn’t have 10 years ago.
And, so there it is. I sign my life away in a sense. I agree to the terms. I make promises.
The computer asks me “are you sure?” and I am. I am positive. Even if my stomach is lurching. Even though I know it may get ugly over the next year. Even if I am unsure. Because that’s what you do when you are committed to students and their learning. That’s what you do when you want more for yourself and the students you work with; when you want to give more to those you work with. That’s what you do when you are a learner, a questioner, a seeker, a thinker. That’s what you do when you are a member of a learning community
So I click “Yes.” I am sure.
I’m ready to renew my commitment and I step (still a little unsteady) into National Board Certification renewal.
Here we go!